Advice
Or, "How to make WAR!"
Send questions to advice@blameus.com.

Dear BlameUS.com,
     I just joined this new department at my IT company, and my boss is not supporting me.  He wanted me to take the lead on some projects, but in meetings, he immediately takes over, and then when he isn't there, people leave the meeting, and refuse to attend with only me.  What can I do about this?  Clearly, he isn't supporting me.

-Lost in the Shuffle, Idaho


Dear Lost:
     You poor dumb schmo.  He hired you as a scapegoat, and as soon as something goes wrong, it will be YOUR FAULT!!!!  If there is a layoff, you are out the door first.  So here is what you do:

  1. Inform your boss that he hired you to be the lead, not a lacky.
  2. Keep track of every time this guy doesn't support you and hold on to it.
  3. If you go to a review, and he hoses you, pull out that list. Play hardball on this chump.  Tell him that if insists on giving you a bs review, you'll point out every one of these problems to his boss. Don't sign that signature line either.
  4. Most companies have an opendoor policy with upper management. After your crappy review, go to that office.
  5. Find another job in the company or find another job elsewhere.
-BlameUs.comTM  Staff

Dear BlameUS.com,
     I hate this guy in my office.  He keeps reminding me and the other people how superior he is, and how we all are a bunch of peons.  Of course, he never  makes mistakes.  We hate this prick, so how can we hose him and have him moved to another department.

-Vengeful Angel, Texas


Dear Vengeful,
     Hose the f*******.  Okay, we gotta get dirty here.  First off, either the guy is very defensive, and he is doing this out of fear, or he is an egotistical pig and is doing this as a power trip.  Either way, you gotta fight back or leave.  So, short of leaving we suggest the following:
     Make up some problem that doesn't exist.  See if he can solve it.  Obviously, since its not real, it can never be solved.  Suddenly the problem goes away... Wow... The guy didn't do anything.
     These guys are often very paranoid.  Leave a letter open that says that some problem he supposedly correct is happening again, and now people are questioning his capabilities.. Maybe he shouldn't be in that group?  Watch him squirm.
     Ask him about the mid-range reports, and why he hasn't completed his section yet.  He hasn't heard of it? Obviously, he wasn't paying attention or didn't read his email careful enough. Get everyone in on this.  He'll squirm.
    Remember , this guy is an ass, and you have to get rid of him.  Drive

him crazy, make his quirks a total pain.  Shake your head when he acts like a jerk, and get others to act overlly irritated.  When the boss asks whats wrong.. Say something like, "I don't know.. I really don't want to say anything." The boss will press on.. Then say, "well, it may just be me.. But Jones was really uptight yesterday.. Made me feel uncomfortable.. Its hard to work when someone acts like that."  Make sure others say the things along the same line.
     The guy will leave or be thrown out in three to six months.
      Oh, and after he leaves, you have at least one to two months to blame all new problems on him.

-BlameUs.comTM  Staff


Dear BlameUS.com,
     Every time there is a problem, people on my team spend way too much time pointing fingers and complaining.  We always work through it, but waste at least a week bitching about everything.  What can I do, its really frustrating?

-Frustrated Boss, California

Dear Frustrated,
     Clearly, its all your fault.  Or really, you should just admit its all your fault, "I'm a shithead. Now that we agree on that, lets focus on the solution."  You'll notice that people will actually figure out it is time to work.  Productivity will go up, you'll get promoted, and leave those losers behind.

-BlameUs.comTM  Staff